Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The more things change

My sweet boy is growing up, changing right before my eyes and it's an incredible process to watch. Sometimes, emphasis on some, I have these truly lucid moments with him where I'm able to absorb everything that's happening. Like this morning, when out of the blue he asked me to sing him one of the "mommy songs" I used to sing him to sleep with. So, as we waited for the morning carpool, there we sat, him on my lap, his head on my shoulder while I sang to him (one our favorites, Lullaby by The Dixie Chicks). I was completely in the moment, one of those I feel are becoming few and far between. Well, moment over as soon as my neighbor arrived to take him to school. He hopped off my lap, grabbed his backpack and lunch box, and said, "see ya later, mom." Mom...what happened to Mommy?

As I was cleaning his room later this morning, it hit me. The more things change, they don't stay the same. His bookshelf, which once held brightly colored stacking blocks, ABC books, and one of those wooden pull ducks, now houses dinosaurs, die cast airplanes, and books on bugs. He doesn't even need his "blankie" anymore, a recent decision he came to all on his own (I couldn't believe it was that easy). While it's wonderous to watch them grow, it's bittersweet too. Oh well, I guess as long as he needs me in his life I'll be OK. And I'll strive for more lucid moments with him so I can capture all the memories safely in my mind. I'll need them one day.


Honorary Indian said...

I am teary-eyed reading this....I'm discovering that it's so true....things are NOT the same. First Priya declared to me that she is now too "old" for Disney princess stuff, and most recently I am being told by Trevor that he doesn't want me to carry him into school anymore...because he's too big for that.

How did this happen?

But, you're right. As long as they always need us ( and they will...whether they admit it as teenagers or not...) it will all be okay.

So special that you shared this precious moment with us.


Happy Girl said...

I read this thinking that I'm not ready for this at all. I look at Reese and he is struggling so much between little boy and big boy. He doesn't want to grow up but he does. I'm not ready to not be needed. Reese told me a year or so ago that he didn't want me to sing any more of our "night night" songs to him, he was too old for them. It almost broke my heart. In the last few weeks he's been asking for one every now and then. I guess as long as I have those stolen moments it's okay. Deep down I know he'll always need me, the relationship just changes and he won't be sitting in my lap anymore or giving me as many hugs and kisses.

Thanks for sharing!