What do I want to be when I grow up?

I saw the movie The Women this week with some friends, and it seems to have me pondering life a bit. Amidst all the drama and the shameless product plugs (there were A LOT), the movie was quite provocative. The main character (Meg Ryan) goes through a difficult time in her life and ends up trying to figure out what she wants out for herself. She's a wife and mother, but something is missing.

All week I have been deep in thought about what may be missing in my life. I gave up a very successful career to become a Mom, and I do not have any regrets. I am very blessed that my husband is able to support my decision to stay home during these early years of our son's life. My main goal and purpose is to raise a happy, healthy child to send out into this big, big world.

That being said, my son is growing up so fast and it's starting to become clear to me that I cannot stay home forever. Going back to my old career is not really an option; too much travel and very long hours. I have thought about teaching and was working on my degree before I got pregnant. Now I question that path - will it really fulfill me or will I just be getting a job that allows me to work around my son's schedule?

The minute I gave birth it stopped being about me, and I completely accept that. However, I also believe we are all better Moms if we have something in our lives that fulfills our desires. When my son was 6 months old, I started a small business that has managed to stay afloat for 4 years, but it doesn't pay the bills. I need to find something that truly inspires me and that I enjoy doing, and that will help support our future. My fear is if I take a job doing something I don't enjoy, it will not benefit my family in any way (we all know if Mommy ain't happy, no ones happy).

I have some time to figure this out, but I must do just that. When the time comes for me to start working again, I want to be ready. I want to know what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm back...but I need some rest!

It's been a while since I've visited the blogoshpere, let alone post on my own blog. Things have been quite hectic around here, to say the least. My son turned five last week, so I was deep in party mode (Pirate party mode, to be exact), plus I had my Mom and her good friend visiting for a week so I was a tour guide as well. Life is getting a bit back to normal now, except I've been totally exhausted. Feeling like I've been run over by a bus tired. All I want to do is sleep, but alas, that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I had a hard time sleeping last night because the sink drain in my bathroom was gurgling all night. It's probably stopped up with some sort of hairy clog, but since I've been making a concerted effort to go green around here, I can't pick up the Liquid Plumber.

I found this recipe online to "safely" unclog drains. I'm going to try it out along with my super cool new drain snake . Next time you reach for the Drain-O, try this instead: Pour a cup of baking soda, followed by a cup of white vinegar, down the drain. Plug the opening with an old rag or a stopper and let it bubble away. After a few minutes, rinse with hot water and repeat if necessary. I'm taking my plumber hat off now and, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap!

Grape Stompin'

Today we went with some friends and visited our favorite local vineyard's Annual Grape Stomp. It's a fun time - we've gone every year for the past 3 years and always enjoy it. The Vineyard is beautiful and the wines are pretty good; if the weather had been a bit cooler I'd say it was a perfect day.

Our boys stompin' grapes and wandering through lavender fields

He's growing up...

"Franklin could slide down a riverbank all by himself. He could count by twos and tie his shoes. He could even sleep alone, as long as he had a good-night story, a good-night hug, a glass of water, a night-light, and his blue blanket."
an excerpt from Franklin's Blanket, by Paulette Bourgeois

My son, my only child, will be turning 5 next week. Five seems so big to me. He has grown so much in the last year, both physically and mentally, that I really feel like my little boy's days of being little are slipping away so fast.

He has a very special "blankie," one that ever since he was about 9 months of age has never gone anywhere without. Blankie helps calm him when he's upset and helps settle him down before bed at night. Last night, after I had tucked him in to bed, he said to me, "Mommy, when I start Kindergarten I'm going to say goodbye to blankie."

He looked so sad about this decision, but he also knew this was something he needed to do. I hugged him for a minute, hiding the tears in my eyes, and told him that when he's ready we'll wrap blankie up in a special box and put him away in a special place.

Deciding to let something like this go may be a natural part of growing up, but it's still a big deal in his little life. I'm sure neither of us will look forward to the day we say goodbye to blankie. For my son, a special part of his childhood will have come to an end. For me, it will mean my little boy isn't so little anymore. I will probably shed a quiet tear as we put blankie away, but then scoop my son up and talk about all the things we have to look forward to as he grows up.

Manic Monday - Saved by the rainbow

Just in case anyone is wondering, I still loath Mondays. I dread getting out of bed on this particular day of the week, because Mondays make me feel completely OWL (that's Overwhelmed With Life, and you'd know that if you read How To Eat Like A Hot Chick).

Today is the last Monday before child o'mine (stop laughing, Christopher) starts preschool, and it ranked right up there with the most hectic of days. Then, late this afternoon, just when my shoulders began to tense up thinking about all the things I still needed to accomplish, I looked outside and saw this:

It was a full spectrum double rainbow, and so glorious (look closely at the top photo-do you see the second rainbow?) I'm not a photographer, that's not my gift, but I hope you can catch a glimpse of how spectacular this sight was. My decompressor for the day came so beautifully pacakged, don't you think?

How to have a happy weekend

• Get in car, drive to Austin.
• Visit my favorite yarn shop and purchase fabulous yarn to make another baby blanket.
• Stop here for the best cupcake I've ever had (a Vanilla Dream Whipper Snapper, to be exact).

• Devour above mentioned treat, get frosting on my shirt, cupcake in my hair and a smile on my face.
• Make homemade pizza with dad and step mom, sit on their deck and watch the wonderful rain while drinking some dang good zin.
• The next morning, take child for chocolate chip pancakes and see the smile on his face.
• Drive home, stopping here along the way.

• Treasure their "honor system" set up - be thankful things like this still exist.
• Buy some gorgeous flowers, fall squashes and tiny eggplants. Get another smile on my face.

• Be welcomed home by the sight and sound of more rain (and a husband and dog who missed us).
• Put child to bed, hear him say he loves me "more than the whole wide world."
• Climb into bed with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. Be thankful for a happy weekend!

Cute Reusuable Shopping Bags

These days, there really is no excuse for not using reusable shopping bags. Even Costco, Wal-Mart and Target have their own bags for purchase, and generally they're pretty inexpensive. My local grocery store sells nice sized, sturdy reusable bags for 99 cents. It took me a while to remember my bags when shopping, but now it's become habit.

I have found that you can pack more items into the reusable bags, so less trips from the car to the house. Plus, there are some pretty cute bags out there, which makes being green even better! Here are two favorites from my collection:

You can find a great assortment of reusable bags at this site, and though they're a bit pricey, I think the investment is well worth it!

If you still need a reason to stop using plastic or paper grocery bags, here's 10:

1. Paper bag production causes 70% more pollution than plastic.
2. Plastic grocery bags take 450 years to biodegrade.
   
3. Plastic “photo degrades” and ends up in our oceans. It is then consumed by fish, and eventually it winds up on your dinner table (lovely).
4. If you think everyone is recycling those plastic bags, think again. Only 2% of plastic bags are recycled in the U.S. each year
5. The recycling of plastic emits heavy metals into the air causing extreme air pollution.
6. An average person will use over 350 bags in a single year, and with only 2% being recycled? Yikes!
7. In New York City alone, one less grocery bag per person would reduce waste by 5 million pounds and save $250,000 in disposal costs.
8. In 1999 more than 14 million trees were cut down to produce 10 billion paper bags that were used by Americans that year.
9. Many grocery stores are considering not offering paper/plastic bags unless you purchase them (some stores in France already do this).
   
10. Shopping with stylish reusable bags is hot!

So, go out and get yourself a couple of cute shopping bags and hit the stores. You'll be encouraging others to do the same, thereby doing your part for the environment. Hey, every little bit counts, right?

**TO ANSWER ALL THE EMAILS I'VE RECEIVED ABOUT THE BLUE Q GROCERY SHOPPER BAG ABOVE: BUY ONE HERE